


Not a Cat

by Michevalier



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, Day 1 - Sunflower (Respect), I really think so, It takes place somewhere between season 2 and 3, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Respectfulship Hanakotoba 2019, Respectfulshipping, Revspec, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-14 07:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20188852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michevalier/pseuds/Michevalier
Summary: Ryoken has always been the sun, making Spectre into his sunflower. Sunflower that always looked in the direction of wherever his beloved master was... even if he did not have nine lives at his disposal.





	Not a Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~!! This is Day 1 of Respectfulship Hanakotoba, in other words:
> 
> ~Sunflower (Respect)~
> 
> I've always been thinking about Ryoken's opinion on Spectre's many sacrifices (damn you season 3 btw >.<) and what Spectre might have felt after season 2.
> 
> I hope everyone has fun with the event! ;3

It was never Ryoken's habit to stare at people for so long, but recently he discovered that he couldn't take his eyes off Spectre that easily. Sunday's gentle morning sunlight filled the kitchen that was already drowning in all sorts of delicious odours coming from Spectre's cooking.

It was quiet though. Only butter kept angrily hissing in the frying pan and combined with Spectre's unusual lack of asking his master what kind of coffee he would like or even him humming some tune it seemed almost sinister. And not only that. There was something about each and every of Spectre's movements that kept making an impression as if he was a robot... or, perhaps, Ryoken thought that way because he was currently creating one?

In any case, deep inside he had to admit that something was worrying him about his second-in-command.

"Hey?" finally, Ryoken managed to utter at least something.

But that was like talking to a brick wall as Spectre never looked at him, never flinched. As if he was stuck in some other universe where Ryoken was not even in the room.

"Spectre," but then young Kogami raised his voice a bit more, this time effectively breaking the illusion of separate dimensions.

"Eh? Ryoken-sama?"

At last, Spectre turned back and let their eyes meet... which confused Ryoken further. Those light blue eyes... had Ryoken ever seen them so clueless, so much akin to those of a toddler who was woken up all of a sudden or a pet startled by some noise.

"What's with you today?" young Kogami asked, thoroughly attempting to analyze what kind of expression he was seeing on that pallid face and, most importantly, _why_; he could only guess though: "Under the weather?"

"Ah, no," Spectre shook his head and smiled... artificially, not for real in fact, just a clumsy mask. "Never felt better, actually."

Lies. Of course those were lies.

Spectre was fully aware of that as one of the biggest cons of living together with Ryoken-sama for a decade was that he could no longer conceal his actual mood entirely.

It was the moment when an overwhelming wave of heat crashed into Spectre's mind, swallowing it entirely and painting his eyesight into bloody red as he watched Ryoken's stony face.

Yes, they had been living together for so long that it was uneasy for Spectre to hide his mood, and yet Ryoken-sama was so outrageously oblivious to anything involving the most obvious of his feelings.

That was truly something that Spectre _hated_ about his master.

"It's fine, Ryoken-sama," he lied solely for the sake of winning a few more moments to take a deep breath and calm down.

Spectre didn't really care that his master's face showed no signs of buying it at all.

"Something is bothering you," Ryoken stated that so nonchalantly that Spectre hardly held back an urge to puke.

"It's... nothing, sir."

"No, it isn't," young Kogami stubbornly insisted. 

"What makes you think so?" Spectre absent-mindedly stirred his coffee, paying no attention to the fact he kept doing it for about two minutes already.

Ryoken sighed and was simply forced to get up from his seat so that he could save the long forgotten pancakes from being burnt in vain. 

"You're unusually quiet," he noted, having flipped them over.

Spectre refrained from biting his lips and commenting on how at the orphanage he was seriously considered being mute as he spoke to no one... until, that is, he was taken in by Ryoken-sama and was eventually taught to talk so much more in his presence.

"Your head is somewhere in the clouds," Ryoken huffed, almost glaring at Spectre.

And that was the last drop for the latter.

"Heh..." Spectre finally left his coffee alone while struggling not to shiver under that piercing gaze. "I guess you are right."

"So?" it was a huge relief when Ryoken had finally stopped eyeing him so intensely. "What's up?"

Despite its short formulation it was a rather complicated question as Spectre spent another minute in utter silence, trying to figure out the best way to respond. The best one... and the one that would not make his heart ache even worse than it already did.

Alas, he failed to pick an option better than starting from something seemingly unrelated to the topic.

"Ryoken-sama... Do you think I am a cat?"

Judging from his master's widened eyes Spectre knew he blurted out something ridiculous... or did he?

"If you could elaborate more," Ryoken only shrugged, "on what features you find similar?"

Using his imagination, Spectre painted himself as a wild feline about to jump and tear apart the closest breathing being... which in this case was Ryoken-sama, but he refrained.

"Do you think I have got nine lives?" instead, he smiled sweetly while trying to turn his master into a pile of ash with his gaze alone. "Considering I have supposedly already lost two of them?"

Silence.

There, he said it.

And, judging from Ryoken's expression, he hit the right spot.

"I see. So you're..."

"Don't forget about the pancakes, sir."

Young Kogami frowned; his previously hungry stomach as if became disconnected from his senses cause he could no longer feel anything but his heart squeezing a bit painfully, and yet he _had to_ flip those goddamn pancakes.

"Angry at me, right?" he muttered, not looking at Spectre. "Cause you had to basically die for my sake, huh?"

Spectre almost bit his own cheek as he tried to prevent himself from laughing hysterically. 

Right, his mood swings were truly violent these days. Ever since he woke up from his coma after being unceremoniously taken out after his duel against that Light Ignis freak.

_As if another one, during the Tower of Hanoi's activation wasn't enough._

"It's alright, Ryoken-sama. It's not like I'm whining about it," Spectre stopped mindlessly stirring his coffee and finally gave it an experimental sip; so bitter it ended up to be.

Honestly, Spectre was never afraid of dying. Ever since he was a kid, even before the Hanoi Project, he often wondered how it felt like... and then he had a chance to experience it. Having his mind gradually fading into darkness... cold, freezing darkness, thick and sticky akin to a swamp. It engulfed, clung onto him, erasing his very self and piercing his brain with agonizing thoughts of...

"_Was my life truly worth it? Would you miss me at least sometimes... Ryoken-sama..?"_

No, Spectre was definitely not afraid of dying, but this thought alone was more than enough to let him drown in panic even before his consciousness would stop functioning all together.

"Forgive me," Spectre's own words seemed like strange disembodied echo to him as he said quietly: "I was just..."

"Doubting whether I appreciated your sacrifices?" Ryoken's voice was as sharp as ice. "Whether I respect everything you do for me?"

This time a muffled huffing managed to slip from between Spectre's tightly pressed together lips. He felt his heart ripping apart inside, but there was no way he could show it so blatantly. After all, turning into a whining emotional mess was something radically opposite to Spectre's standards. There was no way he would complain about anything out loud... even if he was wholeheartedly uncomfortable with the thought of him being nothing more than just some worthless cannon fodder for Ryoken-sama.

"Sir, I-I..." and yet Spectre could not control his voice that grew uncontrollably shaky.

He even felt quite dizzy as if he was suddenly loosing his footing and being about to fall in some abyss right beneath the floor... but then Ryoken's arms immediately caught him and Spectre found himself being safely wrapped in his embrace.

"You don't have to keep it to yourself," Ryoken pulled him closer. "And I want you to know that I've always cherished our every minute together."

That was true. Ryoken always knew that he couldn't fully express how much he appreciated Spectre's exsistence in his life. And he could _never _emphasize enough how precious his well-being was to him... that's why he despised himself the most for making Spectre adore him to the point where he would walk on a thin double-edged blade, jump into raging fire or let his mind sink into eternal darkness without a second thought.

_This boy's neverending loyalty and respect were the worst of Ryoken's sins._

Spectre bit his lips hard enough to cause himself pain, but that was nothing compared to the storm that took off inside his soul.

Spectre's eyes unintentionally caught the sight of a single sunflower in a vase on the dining table.

"_Thank you so much, sir_," he thought a bit bitterly. "_I'm like this flower, you know. Always looking in the direction of wherever you are... Just because I love you that much_."

"Spectre?" Ryoken blinked in surprise when a pair of gentle hands stroked his cheeks. "Are you al..."

He was then promptly silenced by Spectre's warm and soft lips.

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Ryoken-sama," overwhelmed, Spectre said in a breathless voice; his shiny blue eyes were as clear as ever, reflecting Ryoken's image just like a lake reflects the sky in sunny weather.

"You are..." young Kogami rarely felt so much heat coming up to his cheeks, so he was almost paralyzed even after Spectre let go of him.

"The pancakes are almost ready," he resumed the cooking in his master's stead. "Could you serve the table, please?"

"Ah, f-fine."

Soon enough Spectre's mood vastly improved. All negative thoughts toned down at least for this morning.

Yes... the most basic of human instincts couldn't have been buried that easily as he had always been just _a little_ scared of ending up in the ground prematurely.

But, bizarrely, he was insane(?) enough to just keep on humming a merry tune while preparing a breakfast for the man he loved more than anything in this world.

And forgetting for at least a moment that he was _not_ a cat who had plenty of lives left.


End file.
